Monday, October 21, 2013

A few words... :)

I wasn’t really planning to write such a post, but the messages I receive, the comments you keep writing made me want to share some thoughts about my illness with you.

Being diagnosed with cancer usually changes the life completely. Even the early stages of cancer, that are usually fully curable, cause fear, uncertainty and anger. It makes you ask questions “Why me?”. It makes you really scared of death, especially when you are young and there is still so much for you to do.

It is even worse, when you know that you just can’t be cured. I was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer, with several metastases to the liver. This stage is incurable, no matter how hard the doctors would try, they just can’t cure me. They can prolong my life with one chemotherapy after another, but this is all they can do. What a person is supposed to do in this case?

It seems there are only two solutions to this problem. It’s either fighting, at any price, or giving up and waiting for death to come. These two things, in one way or another, determine your life. And even if you choose to fight, or choose to give up, the illness has already won over you. You can say “No, I am fighting it, so how could it win?”. But what else can it be if you sacrifice the rest of your life to fight? The illness becomes the most important thing in your life. And I think you should never ever allow it to happen.

One can say, that sometimes cancer can teach you to appreciate your life. It wasn’t like this in my case. I learnt to appreciate my life long time ago. Many years ago, when I was barely over 20, I lost my parents and was left with no family at all. It taught me that only me and no one else is responsible for my life. I learnt how to live a life, because it is too precious to be wasted. So could I waste it on just being ill? No, I couldn’t.

From the very beginning I knew that my illness wouldn’t determine my life. Instead of asking myself a question “Why me?”, I kept saying “Good it is me and not a mother with little children”. Instead of being scared of death I kept convincing myself that if this is my destiny, I will just accept it. I went through six rounds of chemotherapy while still working full time. I could feel really awful during the first two or three days after the chemo, and then I was desperately searching in my body for enough strength to get up and go to work. You don’t really know how strong you are until you have to find the strength in you. I can’t say that the treatment was easy though, I paid a really high price and I still pay the price every single day. But I didn’t allow it to change my life. That was the most important thing I was aiming for and I succeeded.

My decision about not continuing the treatment was hard. Not for me though, but for everyone else, for people who just don’t want to accept the fact that I may die. But this time I know that getting another chemo wouldn’t just make much sense, because sooner or later it would make my life unbearable, more than cancer itself. I don’t want to prolong my life at any price, and I’d rather have the illness, not the treatment, kill me. It is my decision though, and I know it is a right decision.

But what I want to tell you isn’t about me continuing the treatment or not. I want to tell you that I hope that none of you will ever have to face such an illness. But if something like that will ever happen to you or to a member of your family, or to a friend, please just remember, that whether fought or not, cancer just can’t be allowed to win. It is life, that is the goal, the health, not defeating an illness. Can you see the difference here?

I meet many people suffering from cancer. When I look at 99% of them I feel like the illness is the only thing that keeps them alive. They can talk about it for hours. They spend entire days searching for information about cancer in the internet. They just live with cancer and for cancer. Maybe this is their way to cope with the illness, but for me the acceptance is the key. At least I can keep my inner balance this way.

I will be turning 35 later this week. I found out that I have cancer almost exactly a year ago. An average lifespan for my stage is three months. According to the doctors, I should have died long ago. Yet I still live. Of course, I don’t do heroic deeds, I don’t save the world, I just live a normal, everyday life which I enjoy – I live, I laugh, I love. Sure, I don’t know for how long, but this is something that nobody knows. But, the time I have left I’m going to spend on LIVING.

And on smiling. Because no illness can take it away from me.


After a few e-mails I want to add a short summary. Or maybe not a summary, but just one advice. Live your life and enjoy it, no matter what. Be happy with what you have. That is what I wanted to tell you. :)

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Unlucky-lucky pendant :)

It happens quite often that I am not really satisfied with the jewelry I make. Poor jewelry can't live for long then, it usually is destroyed and the saved beads, if they're lucky enough, go into some other piece. The pendant you can see below somehow managed to avoid being destroyed, even though I didn't like it at all! Lucky pendant though, because before it met the scissors, I decided to give it a chance. So I wore it yesterday. And today... And you know what? I don't really know how it happened, but I realized it wasn't that bad as I thought in the beginning. It will stay with me then. No meeting the scissors in that case. ;)

It is made with fire polished beads, Toho seed beads in three sizes and there are even a few SuperDuos in it, as well as 12mm Swarovski rivoli in the middle. It measures 4,7 cm (1,85") in diameter, without the bail.

And how often do you destroy the jewelry you make, before you show it to the world? ;)

beaded pendant

And now I have to run to the kitchen if I don't want to burn my dinner. ;)
See you some other day! :)


Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Irises - beaded crochet necklace with a free pattern :)

It won't be a long post, because I have some work to do. But I wanted to show you the beaded crochet necklace I have finished recently. :)

It's made mostly with Toho seed beads and some Preciosa, since I couldn't find all the needed colours from the Toho manufacturer... The necklace is 40 cm (15,75") long and for once stringing the beads wasn't a nightmare. In fact it was simple, fast and easy. :)

The pattern is available for free here.

And this is how the necklace looks like:

beaded crochet necklace

beaded crochet necklace

beaded crochet necklace

Now, before I go, I'd like to say thank you for being with me. I love you all! :)))
See you next time! :)

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Flower Stud Earrings - free pattern

I have been away for a while, but now I'm back! I hope you weren't missing me too much though. ;)

As I promised in this post, I have finally prepared the tutorial for the flower stud earrings, like these below:

flower stud earrings free pattern

But first I want to say thanks to all of you, for your encouraging comments, for your e-mails, for every good word I got from you. I returned with no good news at all though, but don't worry, even though I decided to not continue the treatment - I just can't agree for the next chemotherapy, because I know that it will kill me faster than cancer - I feel great! I am an incurable optimist and I won't lose my positive attitude too soon. Can't waste the rest of my life, after all, and spend it on waiting for death. There are thousands of better things to do! ;)

Stay happy, my friends. :)

And now I'm happy to share the pattern here with you. :)

You will need:

76 x 11/o seed beads
120 x 15/o seed beads
24 x 11/o cylinder beads
2 x 6mm round beads
2 x flat or cup ear studs
beading thread
beading needle (size 12)
jewelry glue

The earrings measure around 17mm (0,67") in diameter.

1. String 1 x 11/o cylinder bead and 1 x 11/o seed bead six times, make a knot and pass through the beads, so your thread is exiting from one of the seed beads as shown in the left picture.
2. Pick up 2 x 11o seed beads, skip the cylinder bead and pass through the next 11/o seed bead in the row as shown in the middle picture. Repeat five more times. At the end pass through the first 11/o bead added in this round.
3. Pick up 1 x 11/o seed bead and pass through the three nearest 11/o seed beads as shown in the right picture. Repeat five more times. At the end pass through the first 11/o bead added in this round.

flower stud earrings free pattern

4. Pick up 5 x 15/o seed beads, skip one 11/o bead and pass through the next 11/o bead as shown in the picture (one of the beads strung in step 1).
5. Pass back through the last 15/o bead strung.
6. Pick up 4 x 15/o seed beads and pass through the next 11/o bead added in step 3 as shown in the picture.
7. Repeat steps 4-6 five more times.

8. Pass through the first 3 x 15/o beads added in the previous round.
9. Pick up 1 x 11/o cylinder bead, skip 3 x 15/o beads and pass through the next 3 x 15/o beads as shown in the picture.
10. Pick up 1 x 15/o seed bead and pass through the next 3 x 15/o beads as shown in the picture.
11. Repeat steps 9-10 five more times.

12. Pass through the beads so your thread is exiting from one of the 11/o seed beads strung in step 1.
13. Pick up 1 x 6mm round bead and pass through the 11/o bead on the opposite side as shown in the picture.
14. Pass again through the 6mm bead and the same 11/o bead you have started this round with. You can pass through these beads a few times, so the 6mm bead isn’t sitting too loosely. Don’t worry that the hole of the 6mm bead is visible. We will cover it with beads in the following steps.

15. Pick up 6 x 11/o seed beads and pass again through the 6mm bead forming a loop on one side of the 6mm bead. Repeat one more time, forming another loop on the opposite side, as shown in the left picture.

NOTE: Depending on the exact size of your seed beads (you know that some colours sometimes differ from each other with shape and size, even if they are described as the same size) you might need to add 7 x 11/o beads instead of 6. You have to determine yourself how many beads you will need.

16. Pass through one of the loops as shown in the right picture.
17. Pick up 1 x 11/o seed bead and pass through the other loop.
18. Pick up 1 x 11/o seed beads and pass through the first loop again. Pass through all the beads a few times.

19. Make and secure the knots and trim the remaining thread.
20. Take an ear stud and glue it to the back side of the beadwork.
21. Repeat steps 1-20 for the second piece and enjoy your new flower stud earrings!


Author: Justyna Szlęzak, Eridhan Creations

Unauthorized copying and/ or commercial use prohibited
Copyright by Justyna Szlęzak 2013

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Twisted experiment - the second attempt

After playing around with twisted peyote and creating a pendant shown in the previous post, I wanted to try something else, still using this stitch. So I made another pendant (of course!), you probably didn't expect anything else. ;)

It is made with Delica beads, Toho beads, 4mm bicones and a wonderful orange crystal which I got from Marcie. :) It is quite big - it measures almost 7cm (2,75") at the widest point and it looks like this:

twisted peyote beaded pendant

twisted peyote beaded pendant

twisted peyote beaded pendant

twisted peyote beaded pendant

twisted peyote beaded pendant

Now I just want to let you know that I will be away for a few days. Unfortunately, the treatment I'm receiving isn't working at all and my metastases are growing bigger again... I already know that the doctors treating me so far have screwed things up. Guess they thought I wouldn't live for long enough anyway. Well, I have to do something about it so I'm going to see some other doctors, only in the other part of Poland. So I'll be away and I might not respond to your e-mails until I'm back home again.
I'm taking Hope with me. I might need it. :)

See you all soon again! Have a great time until then. :)

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Twisted experiment

Everyone I know has been making twisted peyote earrings lately. I couldn't be worse then! ;)
Only... I don't wear long earrings! I don't even make them! I make pendants! But I still wanted to try out the twisted peyote... So, I just had to experiment. And honestly, when I started, I didn't even know what result I might achieve. It was supposed to be a surprise even for myself. ;)

Miyuki Delica, Toho beads and two beautiful blue 18mm rivolis have been involved in the process of making the pendant too. So it's not me that has given the pendant its unique look - it's the beads! I like the final effect though. It just looks different from anything I have seen before.

The pendant measures around 3 x 3 x 3,5 cm (1,18 x 1,18 x 1,37"). And this is how it looks like from different angles:

twisted peyote - beaded pendant

twisted peyote - beaded pendant

twisted peyote - beaded pendant

twisted peyote - beaded pendant

It wasn't the only twisted experiment. I have finished the second one already, only still haven't taken any pictures... Maybe tomorrow?
Have a wonderful day and I'll see you some other time then. :)

Monday, September 2, 2013

Orchid - beaded pendant and tiny earrings

A wonderful friend of mine has given me recently the best present a beader can get! When I opened the package and saw lots of Miyuki Delica beads I was speechless! These of you who live in Poland know that well - these beads aren't easily accessible here, so the surprise was even greater for me. Of course, I had to try them out as soon as possible. Actually I wanted to make something simple and since another friend of mine asked why, despite being into astronomy, I haven't been designing anything of star-shape, a star was the first project I decided to make. While beading though it appeared that it would be something more than just a star - not the first time when a finished project is far from what has been planned to make. The result I achieved looks more like an orchid flower to me - don't ask me why though, it's probably just my crazy imagination again that sends such pictures to my brain. ;)

Anyway, this is my first project made with Delica beads (my new greatest love!). Some Toho seed beads are added in the middle. The entire pendant measures around 6 cm (2,36") without the bail.

beaded pendant

beaded pendant

In addition (completely unlike me, I know!) I made some tiny earrings too, repeating the motif from the center of the pendant. Actually they looked so cute to me, that I made another pair too, and soon I will share the pattern here with you. I just need to draw it first. ;) They look better in reality though, much better. The camera has stolen the entire depth and they look so flat here...
They measure around 17mm (0,67") in diameter.

beaded earrings

And tomorrow I'll show you another experiment with Delica beads. An experiment that I have found rather successful. ;)
So see you until then, my friends. :)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...